Goons, Punks, and Attitudes.

Welcome to another installment of truthfacts from the lazy-boy himself, the Armchair Mouthpiece. And it seems we're at that point in the week again where I give you my thoughts on RAW, and what I think could happen.

Let me start off by saying, that unless it's amazingly clear that there's been a huge mistake made, you're never going to see me write something like "They did it wrong, this is how it should have been done" or "My way is better" or anything like that. I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be better than anyone. I'm not going to sit here and claim to have some knowledge of "the business" that i don't have. All i'm doing is giving my opinion on what happened, what may happen, and what i'd like to see happen.

Ok so onto the show!

There was an intro video package, I never like them, they seem to leave out tiny little details that could make them better. The biggest example that i can think of that is way back (waaaayyyy back) in 1993/94 with Bret and Owen, when Owen "turned on Bret". Owen, at the 94 royal rumble was in a tag match with Bret, and it ended with them losing and Owen blaming Bret, claiming that Bret was being selfish, staying in the ring when he was injured and try to get the pin/submission instead of tagging in Owen. The funny thing is, that's exactly what happened. Bret started to move over to tag Owen, but then changed his mind and went to put the sharpshooter on their opponents. 
So Owen had a legitimate side to his argument, but in the video packages for Wrestlemania and Summerslam that year, that part wasn't shown. All that was shown is Bret hurt, them losing, and then Owen attacking him. Now, to me, giving the heel a slightly more legitimate argument would have made it even better than it was (and that feud was amazing!)

Anyway, video package aside, I think it was assured that this RAW's opening segment would be either Triple H, or CM Punk with the other interrupting. I was thinking it would be Triple H out first, but I was suprised (pleasantly). I'm loving everything CM Punk is doing these days, so anytime he's on the mic for me it's great TV.

Then i got a little worried.

Punk started telling us why he came back. He told us all about how he had to make this life-changing decision (and if you've heard his interview with Bill Simmons on ESPN you know that's real). Talking about taking credit for the changes that have been happening. All that was great.

Then he said "some of that credit goes to you, the audience".

That took a little bit of steam out of it for me. I know he wasn't pandering, Punk just doesn't seem like the "I did it for you" kinda guy. He's an Anti-hero. And, just personally, i preferred the version he used on the bill simmons show.. "I'm gonna make this sh*t cool again" as opposed to "i'm going to make this fun again".

So I got worried. Was this going to be the end of the controversial CM Punk? Was he, now that he'd resigned, been told to ease up on what he'd been saying?

Then we got to the real point of it all. "The voice of the voiceless needs to be heard". And I got a little less worried. He certainely wasn't pandering, reverting, doing any of that. Punk is back because Punk wants to be heard. The only reason it sounded a little weaker than some of his other promos was because the crowd didn't give that "OOOOOOHHHHH" chant, just a nice applause because they were mentioned.

So it goes on, it's interesting, we get some strong CM Punk chants, and then Booom...... "It's time.. to play the game".

And i get worried again.

Now i'd read last week, or heard last week, that one of the original ideas floating around for CM Punk's return last week was to have HHH pedigree him. Would've been a fairly terrible idea I would imagine.

So this being the first time we'd seen HHH and CM Punk in the same ring (with HHH being in charge i mean), i got a little worried. Because HHH pedigree-ing CM Punk out of nowhere would kill the momentum he had, and it really would be, as CM Punk said, a return to the "soul-crushing status quo".

But, of course, that didn't happen.

Wow. That was my first reaction to this little segment. But, i have a couple of problems with it. One, I don't really buy HHH not liking CM Punk. I mean i can understand it, he's doing what's right for business, and CM Punk walking out with the title isn't good business, but this is HHH, one half of D-Generation X... i mean, they were going against the grain 14 years ago. I guess i prefer my Triple H with some more attitude. Attitude is a big word at the moment I think. We seem to be getting the slightly comedic corporate Trips though. Two, and this isn't really a problem, more an idea I had that I think would work for Punk. He talked about commodities, how he's a commodity and HHH couldn't afford to let him go anywhere else.

So it seems like one of the things Punk dislikes is that it's all about the money, or at least appears to be. CM Punk also seems like the kind of guy who doesn't really like mainstream music.. hell, he's not really mainstream anything. So he could talk about how it's not just him, i mean, there are great bands out there not getting any attention because they're not "the norm", they're not like everybody else.. something like that, just to bring a wider audience in. It could work, the whole Anti-hero thing, pushing for change. It could (if done right) give this angle, and the WWE a wider range of media outlets getting interested in them.. I'm not sure it's a road they would want to go down though. Being that they're using i think... C-Lo (is that his name?)'s song for Summerslam. I guess i just felt it would work, being a musician who's struggled with that, as i don't play "pop" music.

Back to the show. Wow i'm still on the first segment. Must mean it was either really good, or really long. Ha, i just checked. it's both. 24 minutes or something before the first wrestling match I believe.

So we still don't know what kind of boss HHH is going to be. I think Summerslam is when we're going to find out. As in, is he the good guy boss, or the heel boss? I'm hoping for heel, HHH is amazing as a heel.
I don't like the "without the WWE, you really mean nothing" .. that's a huge knock to TNA (deserved) and ROH (not deserved). That's part of that old Vince mentality that i do not like.
But let's talk about what i do like. I do like Punk telling HHH not to leave the ring. This part got me excited. I'd forgotten about the possible pedigree. Punk taking shots at HHH is a big move. It all needed to be said to keep up the whole "Punk won't play by the rules" part.

And then he let his Pipebomb off. (Pretty sure that's going to become a thing). "How many times have you said "ahhh I just don't think he has what it takes", when you're lying in bed with your wife?" WOW!

What the hell is with the Skinny Fat ass remark? Did i miss something? Can skinny people now be fat people too? Does it work the other way? can fat people be skinny? What am i missing here? weird.

So we had Triple H laying down the law. And then we get what i thought was the 2nd best part of the night. CM Punk not backing down, messing with HHH's suit and tie.. and then delivering .. "are you going to punch me in the face.... or do you have to go ask your wife's permission first?" Brilliant.

Stuff like that just helps show that it's a new day, there's a bit more attitude. I mean think about it from a backstage point of view, or a "real" point of view. So awesome. I'm excited.


Ok so on to the rest of the show.. Divas battle royal.. nuff said.

Except, Beth Phoenix works so much better as a heel. So whoever made that decision, well done. That, and only that, makes the championship match at summerslam interesting. Beth for champ.


Ok what else happened.. umm... Oh yeah that's right R-Truth.. He's doing awesome work right now. Not as good as last week, but still, he's great.

Ok i'll be honest, I didn't watch much of the matches this week. Not that they're bad, just that it's that same old status quo that Punk is talking about.
John Morrison is overrated though. He's not consistent. And consistency is what makes high flyers amazing. like Rey Mysterio. like Evan Bourne. Like most of the x-division in TNA.

Also i didn't watch a lot of the matches because i seriously can't stand listening to michael cole. especially the parts where JR and King are trying to call the match, and Cole just starts running down the babyfaces in the match. Boring, old, really bad, and really hard to sit and listen to/watch. Someone needs to reign him in.

Seriously, what was the point of that Alex Riley guy coming out and trying to get Dolph Ziggler to "drop Vickie".. is that the best way they could think of to start a potential Riley/Ziggler feud? C'mon.. what about.. oh let's see.. "Hey Dolph, your hair looks like crap"... or "Hey Dolph, you couldn't beat me if you tried".. and that's just off the top of my head (note... sarcasm). Dolph is great, but this promo sucked. Follow that means no-one will have his skills? what?


Hey Zack Ryder was on tv 2 weeks in a row.. if that's not a sign of change, nothing is!

Did Santino have a Mr.Cobra-o? I sense gimmick infringement.

Alberto Del Rio is a bit of a strange one for me at the moment. He won the Royal Rumble, but didn't win the Title.. (most likely because of it being Edge's last match i would have to think).. now he has the briefcase, and the first time he tries to cash it in he gets kicked in the head. (Which was awesome). He's great in the ring, but it seems like they're not sure if he is ready yet or something. News flash ... he's ready! Summerslam beckons .....

Ok now onto the closing segment. And once again, something that I (and i'm sure a lot of people) didn't expect, happened. Also, something i was pretty sure was going to happen, happened. It was the only logical choice. But before i get to that, Johnny Ace?? Is this the start of the power struggle between the old regime and the new?  We got to see a little of it with HHH clearly being annoyed about Laurinitis being out there. This storyline has the potential to be huge, especially with Laurinitis trying to get over as a heel by saying he replaced JR and trying to throw his weight around.

So now we get to my favourite part of the night. John Cena. Yep, i said it.

He's got a little of that word back.. that.. attitude. That 2003-04 era John Cena attitude that got him over in the first place. Imitating Laurinitis.. and of course the "punched you in the face" schtick. Brilliant. best part of the whole show. There's a little boston accent coming out in Cena's voice lately.. I kinda get the feeling this is all leading to the Rock/Cena thing, Cena is going to get his attitude back, and make that match amazing. Rock is going to do the same thing he did 10 years ago, and get cheered for it. But then, he's not gonna be there the next night. Cena will.


Ok so onto the end of the night. We have the Champ vs. Champ match at Summerslam. Then we had the little ego pose off thing... right way to end the night, especially with HHH getting a little pissed off and laying down the law.


So where could it be headed? Well apart from the obvious, hopefully CM Punk doesn't have to find any more urinals to throw up in, meaning.. hopefully we don't go backwards from here. Punk (i feel) should win at Summerslam if you want the momentum to continue. Or at least, if he doesn't win, it can't be a clean victory over him. Someone... HHH, Rey (he never got his rematch), Laurinitis, Vince.. a returning ___________ , someone! Remember, they now have to live up to the match they had at MiTB... so it's gotta be stepped up somewhere. I was thinking it might be some kind of gimmick match, a cage was the only thing that popped into my head.. they just had the ladder match ppv... last man standing wouldn't fit, i quit doesn't fit (yet), but who knows. I would love to see another one on one match between Cena and Punk. Maybe Colt Cabana will show up... could be fun.


Ok so in closing, I think this week's Raw did nothing but strengthen the whole "we've changed" bit. The matches i watched were good, not awesome.. Morrison botched a corkscrew dive over the ropes... Del Rio/Bourne was good. But clearly they're focused on Punk/Cena/HHH.. and rightfully so.

So what do you all think? Let me know please... I need criticism. At least RAW isn't the same old crap anymore though right? Gotta be a good thing, I know i'm excited about next week again. that makes it what.. 4 or 5 weeks in a row? That hasn't happened since i got Cable tv!

Also, on a different note, i need a new way to end these things..

Thats it for now.


What's it like to be me? You, will never, ever know.
#CenaIsBeets