Right, it's been a long time between drinks (or diet sodas), but it's finally time for another dose of home schooling, from me, The Aussie Mouthpiece.
So we're getting into the meat of the Road to Wrestlemania, so this installment will be focused purely on what's happening on Raw, and to a lesser extent, Smackdown as well. Also, I haven't really been watching TNA so .. there's not a lot I can say about it.
So let's talk about the major storylines going on at the moment.
This year's Wrestlemania, for me at least, seems bigger than the last few years. In fact, I'm struggling to remember what the title matches were for Wrestlemania 25 and 26. 27 was only one year ago so I do remember those. But for Mania 25 and 26, the first, and really only thing that comes into my head is Undertaker and Michaels.
This year seems bigger though as I said. There's the year long build of Rock/Cena (which I will get to in great length I'm sure), Undertaker/HHH (and HBK now I guess) and Punk/Jericho. It's almost a shame that the World Heavyweight Title doesn't seem that important, but I guess maybe it can open the show like it did last year.
So before I get to the big 3, let's talk about the other parts of RAW, and what else is happening this year.
Santino Marella. That guy put on one hell of a performance at the Elimination Chamber last month. I, like a lot of people I'm sure, was nearly convinced he was going to win the title. I'll admit, I marked out when he hit the Cobra, as ridiculous a move as it is.
But it seems that somebody took notice, because this week he won the US championship.
Now don't get me wrong, that's probably the title with the least amount of prestige at the moment. Ziggler and Ryder made it interesting, but once Swagger got it I pretty much lost interest. On a side note, check out Back to the Future, and tell me Swagger isn't Biff's identical twin. Seriously.
But it's still a pat on the back for Santino. Hopefully he gets to hold it until after Wrestlemania at least.
I have a feeling though, that this is actually leading to a match between Swagger and Ziggler for Wrestlemania. I'm not sure how they'll get there, one of them would have to switch, but Ziggler calls himself the #Heel, and Swagger I don't think is over enough. And plus, people don't want to hear him talk.
Santino is going to be a part of the Laurinitis/Long thing, with Otunga. So who knows. Maybe Swagger and Ziggler won't feud, but instead go for the Tag Title belts. Maybe this was a way to get the singles title away from Swagger, and focus he and Ziggler as a tag team more.
The GM story is kind of interesting as well, but I'm worried that we're going to get Mr Excitement shoved down our throats way too much. Sure it's fun to boo him, but unless he's tripping on his words and fumbling sentences on purpose (which would be an amazing work if he was), it's going to get to the point, if it hasn't already, where people don't boo because he's a bad guy, they boo because they don't want to see him.
I have a feeling that this might end up with Triple H as the GM, because let's face it, he's really the only person suited for it, unless good guy Vince wants to make a comeback, or Stephanie McMahon returns to Tv. But I don't see either of those things happening. Triple H makes sense.
Zack Ryder.
Really? Eve kisses him and he's suddenly love struck again like he's in a crappy teen movie? Only thing I can think of is he starts defending her to other people and becomes a heel? but, why would they do that? I am assuming here that the merch the WWE makes of Heel wrestlers doesn't sell as well as the babyfaces. That makes sense right?
Hopefully this gets back onto a decent track, even if it's just Eve and _________ vs Zack and Kelly Kelly or something. Or hell, even Zack and Beth Phoenix, seeing as how it's what, 4 weeks away from Mania and there's been nothing done with the women's title?
Miz.
Wow. How far one man can fall in one year. If it's because they lump Survivor Series on his shoulders, that's completely ridiculous. Blame the guy who's the biggest name if you're going to blame anyone. Oh you can't, he doesn't really work for you. Say what you will about some of the other part time guys, but at least they re-invent themselves, or at least refresh themselves a little. Rock is the same Rock, spouting the same old crap. But I'll get to that soon. I hope Miz gets some kind of spot at Wrestlemania. He's not my favourite guy, but considering where he was last year, he deserves a spot.
Big Show/Cody Rhodes.
Huh? Why is Show getting a shot at the IC title, at this stage in his career? That title is about giving a younger guy the opportunity to show he can be a top guy. I don't get this at all. That's really all i'm going to say about it. Not a fan at all.
Ok, so that's the undercard stuff I guess, so let's move on to the main events. And also from this point i'm going to be talking about last week's RAW as well, seeing as how I didn't post anything last week.
Let's start with Punk/Jericho.
"Screw your stupid, Light-brite jacket". Brilliant.
Ok to elaborate, these two guys can obviously talk. Punk hasn't really been given as good of a foil lately, as opposed to 4 or 5 months ago, but now with Chris Jericho, he's got someone who he can really go toe-to-toe verbally with. I really liked that they got to talk for as long as they did, and you could clearly tell it wasn't a script, maybe just some notes (but not written on their bodies anywhere..but i'll get to that) but for the most part, it was on the fly. The way it SHOULD be done.
It looks as if Jericho is getting ahead on the one-upsmanship for now, but that's ok. Punk doesn't look worse for it at all, because we all know what he can do. I'm hoping they go for the sort of "Punk is the champion but still the underdog" kind of thing, because I always enjoyed the matches where the guy chasing the title wins at Mania, and really, Punk will win at Mania because he's, as he said "the man right now".
Undertaker/HHH/HBK
OK, I've said it before, Undertaker is my favourite wrestler, so I'm probably biased here, because HBK is 2nd on my favourites list.
But I really like where this is going. The special referee thing is a little odd, because Shawn isn't going to come out of retirement for a 'payback' match, so I don't see him really turning on either guy. In fact, the only way I could see that, is if he caused 'Taker to lose the match, therefore ending the streak, and also therefore 'Taker would be retired I guess, so there wouldn't be any payback.
But that won't happen. 20-0 looks and sounds too good.
It's strange, but even now, Triple H looks kind of like the third wheel in this whole thing. Maybe that's intentional, a part of the "Shawn is better than you" thing. Maybe it's just because of how things have gone for the last couple of weeks, with Shawn's "phone interview" on the WWE website, and with next week the advertisement being "Undertaker returns, and HBK will be there to see what he says".. but it's odd that the opponent for 'Taker isn't the focus right now.
I really like the idea of the Hell In a Cell, and honestly, I couldn't care less about all of this "how will they set it up" stuff. It doesn't matter, it's about the match. And plus, it's the WWE. They'll find a way.
I would expect to see a really brutal match, and I wouldn't be surprised if there was even some blood. Because of the history of these 3, and also because of who they are within the company. It's not some young guy trying to make a name for himself. It's not outlandish to imagine that inside this cage, with the weapons available etc, that someone would get cut open. If this is the "reality era", then blood is a possiblity in this match, because it would be realistic.
Obviously Undertaker will win though. Unless he's announced as going into the hall of fame, which won't happen. Also, I hope he takes his damn hood off at least once before 'Mania, and they bring the cutting of the hair into the storyline.
Ok onto the main event. John Cena and The Rock.
Well. There's certainly a lot to cover. I hope your eyes aren't too tired to read all of this. Cena's promo 2 weeks ago (best of his career indeed), the Rock's return last week (complete with cheat sheet on his wrist) and then this week with the Rock's history lessons... yawn.
Honestly, is anyone else getting bored with the Rock? He comes out every week (well.. not every week because he's not there every week) but whenever he comes out, it's the same old stuff. Making fun of the way Cena dresses. Saying he has no balls/ladyparts/pink parts. Calling him a bitch. I mean, to me that just sounds like a schoolyard bully picking on someone because they're different to themselves. Which is a jerk move.
And it's stale and boring. And also seems like a lot of PR crap. Trying to get things trending on twitter. Like twitter is what the entire world is actually talking about. Isn't it only a small percentage of WWE fans that are on twitter?
I know that Rock's biggest catchphrases are obviously something he would say every time he's around, but for over a year not, he's been spouting on about Cena being less than a man, because he wears coloured shirts or something. So much for the anti-bullying campaign right?
Anyway, so last week we get a twenty minute Rock promo/twitter advertisement, and the Rock has notes on his arm? Now I for one don't believe that was done intentionally, nor do I believe that Rock knew Cena would bring it up. But I'm really glad he did, because, if you paid close attention to this week's Cena/Rock stuff (live in the ring i mean) there were smatterings, and sometimes halfway decent Rocky Sucks chants going on. And more to the point, Cena was absolutely spot on. Rock got shaken up.
After Cena left the ring last week, Rock repeated himself, stumbled over words (which I can never remember him doing) and then reverted to the catchphrases he made so famous 14 years ago. Wait, didn't he accuse Cena of saying the same old .. "hot garbage".. last year? Talk about your hypocrites.
Anyway, Cena is, on purpose or not (and my vote is for not) looking so much better than Rock right now. As far as I'm concerned, Rock is the heel in this situation. He's a bully, he's overbearing, and Cena is standing up for himself.
But regardless of whatever people think of either guy, this feud is heating up in a big way, and has the makings of being one of the biggest matches ever, and really, that can only be good for everyone. Even if you don't like Cena, or don't like the Rock, or don't like the match, it's going to bring more people in to watch the shows. And, probably more importantly, it's going to get the other guys to lift their game to try and get into those kinds of spots down the line.
I could go on and on about Rock, and Undertaker, and HBK, but my fingers are about to fall off from typing so much, so until next time, remember to leave me a comment, cut a promo on me if you don't like what i've said, and if you're not doing so already, follow me on twitter @TheOZMouthpiece and remember, I come from a land down where? Down UNDER!
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